


Heart or: Why Worry?

by LucyInTheSkye



Series: Sirius x Remus [47]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Emotional Roller Coaster, Guilt, Kinks, Love, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Porn Watching, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Self-Doubt, Shame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:34:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29265855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucyInTheSkye/pseuds/LucyInTheSkye
Summary: September 1980. Remus worries.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Sirius x Remus [47]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1483745
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	Heart or: Why Worry?

**Author's Note:**

> Second title belongs to Dire Straits. It wasn’t consciously on my mind when writing this, but I realized after that it fits; it’s even got a reference to Gryffindor colours in it.

Sirius was coming his way at a run, clutching a bundle of paper in his hand and with a triumphant, almost menacing glint in his eye.

“ _Argh!!_ ” Remus grunted into his hair; because Sirius had tackled him, felled him like a wildebeest and had him pinned to the sofa with one hand, mouthing over the fine skin on Remus’s neck and making it difficult to act as disgruntled as the occasion, in Remus’s honest opinion, merited. “Mmm…”

Sirius’s hand had released him and was busy working on the scuffed buttons in his cardigan, but he was also still working on Remus’s neck, almost kissing, teeth softly grazing. A content sigh rumbled through his body and Sirius shifted more weight to the hand holding him up. Next there were lips that sucked, but too carefully to leave any marks worth speaking of. Remus’s instincts of self-preservation, the ones that did not wish for Sirius to be in control of him (at least not so effortlessly), aided Remus in his surprise attack; a combo of tickling and pushing Sirius off him. He went surprisingly easily for such a big man, and Remus almost regretted it when there was a great thump heralding his lover’s bottom hitting the floor.

Remus touched his neck, wanted to pull a face at the cooling saliva he encountered, but instead he just blushed and rubbed it in, a lovely sensation moving up his spine when his sense memory recollected the scrape of stubble mixing with a familiar, most welcome mouth.

“What have you got there?” he said briskly, trying to cover up his body’s lapse into gooeyness, and attempting to give his lover one of his stern, prefecty looks. Sirius was laying back on his elbows, muscles showing perfectly well through his cotton shirt, and how difficult could it be to just look him in the eye? Hard nipples, they’d be pink and... Look at his groin, skinny jeans, was that bulge -, no, abort. Remus wrenched his eyes from their meanderings and turned mature, collected eyes on Sirius’s face.

Sirius was laughing quietly at him, indeed Remus had to do his utmost to not look at that intriguing bit of toned stomach that seemed to be jumping in time with his mirth.

Remus gathered up his remaining dignity with some care and got up from the sofa, only to realize that one of the more unruly parts of his body was already standing to attention in honour of Sirius’s pecs with their hard little nipples and that infuriatingly smug grin on his face that Remus couldn’t wait to wipe away, preferably by plugging his mouth completely, thrusting deep inside and…

“Better sit yourself back down, eh Lupin?”

Remus yelped and stumbled; Sirius had gotten to his ankle in an unfair way, guts falling like a high-tech lift, body falling like a sack of potatoes dropped down the stairs, but Sirius caught him, plucked him out of freefall, and Remus could at least make sure to grope his chest thoroughly while he collected his limbs and got comfortable, sitting astride his lover’s sturdy, well-oiled hips and that bulge between that was – yep – definitely… 

“Mmm…” Remus said, squirming so that he could feel it all rubbing against him, his hands cupping strength and an extremely erotic piercing. Sirius was responding in kind, adjusting Remus’s thighs and arse by palming him, spreading him wider, getting him just right…

“How is little Remus doing?” 

Remus gave him another one of his choice, perfectly serious looks. Sirius was grinning again, his pupils blown wide with arousal, but there was still that teasing glitter around the irises. He was petting Remus ever so gently on the inside of his thigh, just where his trousers had him trapped, unfairly confined. Sirius sat up some, his body at an awkward angle, but as the strain only emphasized what he was packing underneath his shirt, Remus saw no reason for him to be allowed to sit up properly.

“Fine, not little at all. Big, aren’t you? Porn star big, in fact.”

Sirius brought the papers he had had in his hand to Remus’s attention, or rather the magazine, as it turned out.

“There was this tiny, little old lady working the counter at the corner shop, so I just couldn’t resist…”

Remus blushed again, deeply and thoroughly. Sirius stopped petting his cock and opened the magazine instead, onto a brightly coloured, shiny page where a muggle lady could be admired as she undressed.

Remus drew a nervous, shaky breath and pulled Sirius into a fully seated position so that he could hug him properly. Snuggle against him and hide his face in his neck. Maybe peek at what his lover had brought for them.

“Look at her breasts,” Sirius groaned into his ear. “Beautiful shape, just look at them… And I love the pic with the see-through shirt, before she even gets them out, when she’s teasing, don’t you?”

Remus pressed his groin further against his lover, too embarrassed to answer but also so hard he could barely stand it. He sneaked another guilty look at the magazine, almost overcome with the wrongness of the situation. Almost.

Sirius twisted his hand to get between them, quite an undertaking as Remus wanted to hide, wanted to merge their bodies so that he could disappear completely. He did, however, sigh in greedy relief once Sirius had gotten both their trousers open, once he could feel another hard penis throbbing directly against his own.

“Let’s turn the page, let’s see what more she’s got for us…”

Remus felt a bit calmer when he got a strong arm around himself, holding him close, closer, as close as he could be held. He could tell immediately from how deeply Sirius began to breathe that what was on the next page was even better to him, and Remus spent agonizing seconds debating with himself. Eventually, he glanced down.

Sirius was tracing a finger along the centre of the page, where the same lady had spread herself wide open.

“Look how wet she is,” Sirius whispered in his ear, and Remus had to look away because this was indecent, this should have been private. “She’s soaked through her knickers, absolutely dripping with it. Got a cute, shiny clit, and she’s showing it off for us. So proud of it, just like she should be, hmm? Wonder what she’d taste like. Reckon she’d be as tasty as she looks?”

Remus, who had expected himself to drown with embarrassment, was now forced to laugh instead. Not loudly, not derisively either. Just a small, relieved noise because this was all too familiar, such a predictable thing for Sirius to focus on.

“And he’s got a nice, big cock for her. Looks weird without foreskin, do you think he’s American?”

“No idea,” Remus whispered; he had no intention of looking. He felt warm now though. Sirius had wrangled his free hand between them again and was caressing both their erections, although he was having some trouble holding both at once. Remus’s eyes blinked close. All he felt was Sirius breathing deeply into his cheek, stubble scraping sensitive skin, fingers wrapping around him. Hot flesh on flesh.

“Can I suck your cock?”

“Yeah.” 

Remus found that he had been expecting it and could feel his body relax further when Sirius’s words confirmed it. Sirius laid back down on the floor, and Remus hastened to help him off with his shirt under the guise of then folding it and handing it over to be used as a pillow. It was such an impressive torso to look at, to lean over while their erections laid flushed and thrumming, side by side. To let his hands and cock rub all over.

Remus hummed contentedly, kicking his trousers off for more bared skin, easier movement. He could trail his fingers up and down his lover’s body. Then his cock… Stunning piece of art. Much better to look at than… All he ever needed sexually was… 

“You stunning little thing. Can’t wait to taste you babe.”

Remus shuffled forwards, leaving Sirius’s dick behind them. His own was quickly level with Sirius’s mouth and he did not have to wait for a kiss welcome, nor for more kisses following at rather a hectic pace. Long, wet, tongue-heavy, deep kisses. Soft lips wrapping around him just right, suckling to draw pre-ejaculate from him, moans when it burst over his tongue. Contented eyes looking into Remus’s.

“You’ve got such a talented mouth,” Remus told him, and he needed to move a little closer. Plenty of his length to get to, still. Sirius’s hands took his hips, cradled them familiarly, slurped on a bit more cock.

When Remus settled down to enjoy his hand brushed against the magazine on the floor. Lying open on a page where the lady from before was on her knees, licking artfully on a large, fleshy… Remus looked down quickly to compare, a triumphant calm settling over him as he watched his lover’s lips stretched wide, pleasuring him in the way they both liked best. Remus made to shut the magazine, but he couldn’t quite focus enough to take his eyes off the beauty in front of him, such a handsome face, such astonishingly attractive eyes, but with spittle pouring down his cheek and an obscenely greedy noise building in his throat.

“Your mouth is full already, hmm? Got a bit more yet to – mmm…”

Sirius swallowed noisily, his throat was attempting to clench shut around the obstruction. Remus again made to toss the magazine away, but found that it had opened onto a page with just text on it. No pictures. He pulled back a little until his dickhead was bumping gently against the back of Sirius’s mouth. The gagging stopped. Sirius’s face was going as lax as it could considering the act he was performing, his eyes were taking on a serene, faraway look. Remus fumbled behind himself and squeezed his lover’s turgid prick. Perfectly aroused.

Curiosity got the better of him, and he focused back on the magazine. 

He was met with a witty paragraph introducing the concept of kinks and fetishes, how vast a variety there was that could manifest in humans. Then a list. A very long list.  
Remus blushed furiously over the noise of his lover sucking him off. Succinct, precise terminology printed in neat rows. Shameless. Half his length was dripping wet and engulfed by wonderful suction while the other remained out in the air, sweltering hot and uncomfortably swollen. Needy beyond belief; he could actually feel the throb in his veins.

Sirius shifted, he was groaning but attempting to pull Remus closer. Wanted him back inside his throat. Remus looked down into his eyes again. Luxurious grey glitter, cheeks hollow but mouth obscenely stretched and still attempting to get at more of him. Remus stroked some of his long hair out of his eyes and smiled at him. Sirius was lifting him, strong hands on his bum and shifting him forwards like he weighed nothing. Remus’s belly did a cheerful flip. No use lying to himself about what his body liked, he supposed. His body welcomed a lover that was stronger than him. One that could potentially overpower him and press him down and –

“Oh, that’s nice,” Remus whimpered; his cock was pressing back on past that clenching gag reflex and then he was filling a hot, tight throat, his cock spasming against raw, sensitive tissue, leaving him so, so close to the edge of glory –

Sirius held him up, almost all his weight in his hands. Remus watched through wet eyelashes, watched his erection reappear like a magic trick, bloated, dark inches coated in thick, slimy saliva, the prominent vein on the side pulsing furiously for Sirius to relieve it. 

“Ahhh…” Sirius moaned and keened while he rubbed Remus’s sopping wet cock into his face, into his stubble, mouthing where he could reach, lapping along the shaft or into thin air when Remus began to thrust.

“Cock slut,” Remus whispered, catching Sirius’s one open eye, the other right then shallowly thrust against by an eagerly spasming erection. Sirius did what was probably a wink, then moaned with noisy agreement, slurped on a loose roll of foreskin and Remus lost it, crying out while spilling thick, gooey ropes of come over his lover. 

Remus’s hands became agitated; everything over-sensitized and he balled them into fists in an attempt to keep his wits about him. Sirius released his hip and his cock and took those fists instead, coaxed his fingers in between Remus’s until they were entwined, until Remus could use his lover's hands to support himself, to rise up on shaking knees and without hands aim the tip of his drooping penis between Sirius’s parted lips. Sirius blinked away some come from his eyes and looked lovingly into Remus’s. Kissed him softly and slowly until he was quite clean.

“Oral fixation,” Remus read slowly from the list in the magazine. Sirius smirked and tried to suck him in properly, but Remus raised himself another inch, his body shouting ‘too much’ at him. His dickhead laid itself to rest on Sirius’s chin. Sirius made him continue looking while he licked hungrily around his mouth and squeezed Remus’s hands.  
Remus squeezed back, then slowly released one of Sirius’s hands. Sirius’s went back to his hip, slowly caressing then wandering further, cupping a plump arse cheek. Remus’s fingers removed another few strands of hair from Sirius’s beautiful face, this time soiled and sticky. Remus blushed and dipped his fingers into the softness underneath his lover’s cheekbone, into the mess of semen he had left there. Sirius’s mouth opened wide, just like Remus knew it would, and he pressed the same fingers into Sirius’s tongue. His lips closed and Remus watched him suck again, heard him hum with appreciation.

“And you’ve got a – a…” Remus swallowed and gave his most obvious look yet at the open magazine.

“Hmm?” Sirius released him, licking his fingers quite clean in the process of sitting up, his arm wrapping securely around Remus’s waist.

“You’ve got a come fetish,” Remus mumbled, colour rising and spreading down his neck, too.

“Right,” Sirius said, giving Remus’s hot cheek a kiss before he turned to look. Taking in the list that Remus was becoming rather transfixed with. It was thrilling that someone could write these perverted things down, but more than that it was embarrassing. Embarrassingly clear what his lover had on that list. Embarrassingly clear what Remus…

“What’s yours, then?” Sirius said, tuning back to Remus, turning his back on that horrifyingly explicit bit of paper and looking, much as usual, completely unphased.

Remus grunted something vague and shifted his body, felt Sirius’s hard prick slide up against him. Still there, and yet Remus’s thoughts were miles away.

Sirius gave his chest, just over his heart, a caress, then bent down to kiss him there. Remus stared unseeingly over his head, his mind whirring away.

“You want a bath or can I eat you out?”

“Please,” Remus said, a pooling of arousal pulling him back as effectively as ever.

“Yeah? You’ll let me kiss your arsehole?” Sirius said with a straight face, although his eyes were laughing uproariously again. “Rim you until you’re good and sloppy, make you as wet as the girl in that magazine. Then I’ll push my tongue inside you. Taste you there. Fuck you loose on my tongue.”

Remus stared fixedly at the floor but he was nodding furiously. He thought he had possibly never agreed more wholeheartedly with anything that had ever been uttered in the history of mankind before, and yet the part that had been a Prefect absolutely needed Sirius to stop talking, to not use any more dirty words, to just do the dirty, wonderful things they both liked before he drowned in shame and guilt and that deep-rooted strain of embarrassment that was tied to his soul with a sticking charm more powerful than the ones Sirius used to paper nudie pics onto his bedroom walls in Grimmauld Place with.

“Taste your arsehole, Remus,” Sirius teased, hot breath fanning over Remus’s ear, over the sensitive hairs on the back of his neck, “I’ll snog your arsehole until you’re gaping wide and dripping my spit right back into my face. Lick as deep into you as I can. Suck on your pretty little rim. Make it stretch. Tongue all inside, taste it all…”

With a ravenous moan, it seemed Sirius finally had had enough and he flopped back down on the floor and the rumpled shirt, beckoning Remus closer, laughing when Remus’s fresh erection bobbed like a fat, nervous mattress spring when he crawled forwards on his knees. 

Already over Sirius’s face, Remus decided that he wanted to face the other way for once. He turned clumsily, trying to avoid pulling on Sirius’s hair and skidding a bit with his knee on the magazine, only to collapse ungracefully on top of Sirius’s face. Sirius said something that might have been “yum” and next Remus’s arse cheeks were parted by Sirius’s big, competent hands and his mouth was right there. Soft, gentle, non-invasive lips at first, just kissing, kissing…

Remus blinked away a stray tear that surely didn’t belong, but his body succumbed that instant. Yet again completely exposed and somehow still not fighting it. Letting it happen and enjoying every second of it. Every kiss, every breath against his skin, every careful, lingering lick. Slow and steady. Tasting him and opening him and spending so much unnecessary time. Vital time, as it turned out. Just right, exactly what Remus’s body wanted in exchange for handing itself over. Complete surrender, white flags everywhere and fully content in the knowledge that he would be cared for. That he didn’t need to fight it, that it was fine for him to give up. To give in and let Sirius have him. 

“You can have me,” Remus said, his voice gravelly, his arsehole full of hot, wet tongue. Loose and relaxed enough to take it, to take Sirius who was leaking onto his own belly, cock stiff and hurt-looking. Untouched.

Sirius made a noise that Remus couldn’t interpret, but there was no quick role-reversal, no pushing him into the hard floor and holding him down, no erection shoved into his hole. Just a tongue pulling out slowly, making him feel every little movement, then pushing laguidly back in. And repeat.

Remus eyed the magazine and felt his mind fill with humiliation yet again. Bondage. Breath play. Food play. Public sex. Mirror sex. Submission. Masochism. Painplay. Prostate massage. Anal penetration. Degradation. Watersports. Nipple play. Impregnation kink. Somnophilia. Impact play. Size kink. Stigmatophilia. He didn’t know what all of the terms meant, and there was no way he was asking Sirius. All he did know was that there were too many, surely too many that fit, too many that he, Remus… His eyes were glued to the list even though the letters were beginning to swim in front of his eyes. Shameful things. Fisting. Lactation kink. Face-sitting.

Remus looked down. He watched Sirius’s ribcage rise and fall evenly. Then his cock. So, so hard. Relentless. Patiently waiting. Remus shivered, feeling small and dirty and contaminated, and he bent down over Sirius’s body, so clumsy he needed a hand on Sirius’s perfectly chiselled stomach, and he kissed Sirius carefully on his penis. 

There was a last slurping noise, then Sirius let him lift his bum a little, let him hover awkwardly while he stared down at Sirius’s dick. His own was leaking like a faulty tap, gluey strands of precum reaching down to greet Sirius’s body. So shameful, the way he couldn’t contain himself. His body.

“Fuck you’re beautiful, Remus. Tastes like heaven back here. Your arsehole is probably one of those wonders the ancients went on and on about.”

Remus smiled reluctantly and turned around on all fours, realising as he did that he was cowering, his shoulders shrunken in on themselves, his head bowed. His face red and unhappy with humiliation. Despite all the evidence he had to the contrary, he couldn’t stop himself from wondering if Sirius would ever want to kiss him again if he knew, if he understood…

Sirius was frowning at him, pulling him in by his shoulders and immediately attempting to correct his posture. His mouth was wet and pink all around Remus saw. 

“Right, so what if I have a spunk fetish and whatever else it was you were firing at me? You’re what gets me off, yeah?”

“Your kinks are fine,” Remus said thickly, “but mine-”

“Fuck cares about what a random porn mag says?” Sirius interrupted him. “I don’t know what it says that’s got you down, but it’s clearly bollocks… Sorry, I shouldn’t interrupt you.”

Remus raised a shocked eyebrow, part of him wanted to ask where this was coming from, because Sirius was not exactly known in their circle for his restraint, nor for his ability to apologize. Sirius caressed his sides, his ugly werewolf scar, and then his heart.

“You don’t care about what my kinks are?” he said, only marginally stumbling on the k’s.

“I know what your kinks are, fuck do I need some magazine list for?” Sirius said haughtily. 

“And you don’t mind that they’re…” Remus swallowed, thinking a lot? Difficult? Extreme? Shameful.

“I love getting you off!” Sirius said, sounding affronted. “If you want my advice, I’d suggest you quit making up problems where there are none.”

When he had finished talking he snatched up the magazine from the ground and flung it across the room where it thwacked the balcony door and crumpled to the floor.

Remus barely hesitated for a second before he took the back of Sirius’s head and mashed their mouths together, kissed and kissed and laughed, had his tongue stolen and decided to use it as an in to invade Sirius’s mouth, good and proper. It tasted more like himself in there than like Sirius. 

He shifted to get what he had been craving, knowing he had to be swift about it. He had Sirius’s sorely neglected dick in his hand one second, the next he had sat down on it, hard and fast because he had been lovingly prepared until his insides were the consistency of soft butter.

“We shouldn’t without lube,” Sirius muttered, his lip caught and Remus bit down on it purposefully, then released, sighed as he sank down on the last inches. It felt glorious. 

“Thought you had promised to put plenty of spit inside me.”

“Suppose I did,” Sirius agreed, and Remus could tell that he felt it too, felt how good it was. Slippery smooth and just the right amount of resistance, which was barely any at all. “Not hurting you, am I?”

Remus shook his head slowly, his shoulders thrown back, his spine alight with that gorgeous sensation of cock on prostate.

“I’m wet like a girl.”

Sirius grinned and kissed the blush that travelled down Remus’s chest like lightning, got to his nipples and sucked on one, looked up with a contented smile in his eyes.

“Can you feel my heart beat?”

Sirius nodded, nipple precariously between his teeth, almost hurting it but not quite. Never actually hurting him. His hands supported Remus’s bum and hips and helped him rise and fall, cresting – cresting…

“Reckon you’ll have a prostate orgasm?”

Remus was too out of breath to answer straight away, he was panting loudly and rhythmically, moving back and forth, back and forth…

“You’ll come all over my belly, hmm?”

Sirius wasn’t very out of breath at all, but then Remus supposed he was doing most of the work for once. That was definitely the reason, not the marvellous strength on full display underneath him, those impressive muscles helping him, holding him, lifting him so that he could impale himself over and over…

“If you pinch my…” Remus’s voice faltered although he was too far gone to feel much shame anymore. Sirius understood anyway and released his arse and took his nipples between his fingers. Remus sobbed from the feeling, too much, just too much, and if he leant back and fucked onto Sirius’s cock he could move away enough that they got pulled, stretched, Sirius’s strong fingers holding onto his nipples and the modest, soft bit of flesh and muscle around them…

Such a delicate flare of pain in his chest combined with what was going on inside him. It was like the striking of a matchstick against his prostate, and simultaneously his cock fired out ropes of pearly white over Sirius’s belly. Remus yelled out his orgasm, brazenly loud while egged on by his lover who did the same, came the same way, loud and hard and wet and rubbing his face into Remus’s throat. The stubble added more of the burn Remus loved so dearly.

“Precious,” Sirius grunted. He was finally short for breath, justly so, and Remus’s thighs were killing him, only he had to get a couple more desperate hip thrusts in while his dick flapped uselessly against Sirius’s stomach. 

They stilled harmoniously, holding each other but with Sirius occasionally using his fingers to gather up spilt come from between their bodies. Remus could hear him lick it up. He had hidden his face in Sirius’s neck, which was shiny and lovely and smelled a little like cologne and a lot like exertion. There was a throbbing pulse that Remus could feel against his cheek, reminding him of how it had felt like inside of him moments before.

“I’m all soft now,” Sirius whispered in his ear and squeezed Remus’s arm. He slipped out and Remus shuddered. His blood was being reduced to a simmer with the way he was being caressed and held. His nether regions had been reduced to mush, however. Wonderful, sensitive, overcooked mush.

Next there were fingers at his entrance, careful, not at all assertive ones. Looking to see if Remus would flinch. Remus was well aware of this game by now, knew how important it was that even if he did feel sore, he never showed it. If he did, he’d get endless healing spells and murtlap tinctures and a sorry frown on Sirius’s face. He could say goodbye to getting it rough tomorrow. It seemingly didn’t matter to the decision making that Remus quite liked the feeling of his insides being raw and used. The burdened, tainted parts of his mind certainly liked it, got off on it, probably thought he was getting exactly what he deserved when he got it for too long and too hard and big enough to…

“Mmm,” Remus said softly when he found that he didn’t have to pretend. There was no pain mixed with the pleasure, nothing at all that should dissuade his lover. He even dared to come out of hiding, his cheeks pink and his fringe sticking to his forehead with perspiration. 

Sirius watched him like a hawk while his fingertips moved in small circles. Remus had to restrain himself from just sitting down on them, from taking them, because it was becoming abundantly clear to him that he needed more, that he could get more if he just played his cards right…

“Are you sore?”

“No.”

A smile began to tug at Sirius’s lips and then he dipped inside. Remus’s mouth opened in what likely was a comical ‘o’, which Sirius mimicked, his shapely, sinfully skilled mouth opened a little and his stunning eyes crinkled at the corners when Remus shuddered from the fingertips sliding straight to his prostate.

“You’re certainly well-lubed now,” Sirius whispered. His breath smelled like Remus’s come and Remus gave him a frantic, shamefaced kiss, knowing he’d start slipping away again at any moment. “You’re leaking, babe, god I love how much of a mess you make when you’re touched the right way. You’re so good at this.”

“No you,” Remus muttered, then he closed his eyes and let his mouth fall back open in bliss. The sticky strands oozing languidly out of his half-hard prick faded into the background, as did a string of disjointed compliments mixed with the naughty, vulgar things Sirius liked to tell him to get him off. His prostate was all that mattered now, all he could feel. Slow, incessant massage and that same build-up as before, the one that made him rise higher and higher, made his toes curl, made him lean all his weight into Sirius’s big strong hand that was holding him in position. His own arms lay meekly by his sides.

It hit him in waves that weren’t dissimilar to seizures. His hands balled themselves into fists again and he might have shouted or sobbed for all he knew. Sirius moved a bit with him and eventually Remus felt his mouth over his heart, slow, plush kisses before Sirius settled down with his ear against his chest to listen to it. Remus smelled the top of his head and felt how wet his body was, how open, how used. Sirius’s hair smelled nice, and nicer still were another little kiss or two he got on his wildly thumping heart. 

“This kink isn’t on their list,” Remus said eventually. 

Sirius didn’t respond, he just slid his fingers a bit deeper. He was definitely counting heartbeats, though, Remus wasn’t fooled. He hid a smile in Sirius’s hair and prodded at his feelings. They weren’t always safe to explore, but right now he just felt spent and rather gratified. Maybe Sirius’s final kink was just for him.


End file.
